Bertrand Russell smirks

EXT – OUTSIDE CHAPEL – DAY
A holy man stands outside a chapel, holding a bible. This is a vox pop-type situation and he speaks directly to the camera.

PRIEST
Well, I believe that there is a great big man
- that’s man, not woman – living in the sky
and He controls everything that happens, except
the bad stuff: you’re on your own there.
And He has a great white flowing beard and lives
with a ghost and a virgin who gave birth to
a man who came back from the dead and didn’t
reek of putrefaction.
One day this great man and His son, and His pet ghost,
-who are essentially one and the same - will come and
cast all of the people who don’t agree with Him
into a lake of fire, because He loves us all.
So very much.

CUT TO:

EXT – STREET – DAY
Another man now stands in the street and speaks to the camera.

ATHEIST
Well…I believe that between the Earth and Mars there is
a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit.
(beat)
Oh, and the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our
most powerful telescopes, so unfortunately I can’t prove this
to you. But it’s there. That’s what I believe.

We then CUT back to:

EXT – OUTSIDE CHAPEL – DAY
The previous shot outside the chapel. The holy man looks across to screen right, indicating where the man from the last shot was.

PRIEST
Weirdo.

God Fails to Deliver Justice Yet Again

"

God, the almighty mythical being prayed to by millions around the world in hundreds of religions, has once again failed to deliver justice. With the Indonesian Court’s decision this afternoon that Australian Shappelle Corby is guilty of possession and importation of marijuana, commentators are saying He is just not doing His job and should possibly consider retiring.

The Lord Almighty, a portly creature – some might even say lazy – was reported to be lounging about in an old bean bag chair and eating doughnuts with soft drink when Ms. Corby was praying to Him at the conclusion of her months-long trial. He is said to have let out a great burp when Corby looked skyward to seek His guidance. Some sources have attributed the following quote to God: ‘Meh, I’ll get around to it, maybe’. Most surprising are reports that God was in fact smoking a joint when he was expected to sweep down and arse-rape the Indonesian Justice System and enforce Holy justice.

This is not the first time God has not intervened when He was most needed. The recent humanitarian crisis in Sudan, not to mention ongoing problems in Iran and Iraq, have gone unaccompanied by any action by the supposed Saviour. Such inability or unwillingness to do anything has led many to believe that even if He does in fact exist, it probably doesn’t matter, such is his impotence. There have also been reports that God Himself has stopped believing in himself. ‘Yeah, I guess I am pretty much a piece of shit’ the Almighty said. God is expected to appear on a toasted sandwich later this week in a feeble attempt to atone for His recent shortcomings.

"

I am a DJ, baby.

"

I’m a DJ. It is super awesome to be me. I am the best at pushing a button that plays someone else’s song. You think you can do it, but you can’t! No, Jeremy, we have had this discussion before and you are WRONG, my man. No mother fucker pushes play on Winamp like me, brother. Oh and you should see me cross fade or...toggle…or whatever…shut UP Jeremy, just because I get the names confused doesn’t mean I ain’t the champion disk jockist around!

And as for bands...ha, don’t make me laugh. I don’t even like music! It’s just like the new Pope said the other week..rock and roll is for the devil baby. Dance music, man? It has no soul to sell, baby. What? No, it isn’t. Jeremy, you did not start saying ‘baby’ before me – that is MY slang term and you cannot claim otherwise. Sharee’s party? Not likely, mon frere! I had my video camera at that party and I will have no trouble reviewing the tape to see just who said it first. Besides, I was saying it back in kindergarten, before I even met you. I just brought it back recently, old-school style! Bullshit! I’ve been saying old school style since four score and three decathlons my man! Anyway, shut up I’m trying to do my DJ piece. Wiggita wiggita. Hear that shit? That’s me being the phatest DJ around.

Man, I wish everyone would start realizing that a slammin’ party’s success depends on how cool the DJ is. Seriously, those idiots slogging it out in bands really should get the net. It’s the year two thousand and freaking five, dudes. Stop living in the past! What’s next, reviving jazz? Ha, Ha. Do not make me laugh, baby. What? That’s it, Jeremy, you are SO not invited to my next DJ competition. And your surprise ejection makes me the champion of the world. Woo!

My favourite type of music? Listen, baby, when I said I didn’t like music I wasn’t kidding. I do not listen to music. It is for fools, fool. Being a DJ is not about music. Stop living in the g-damn past! I just go clickety clacky clip clops and voila, everyone is happy. One day I hope to rid the world of music and people will hire DJs simply to make themselves cool by association to me. Until that day I’ll continue to press all your buttons.

But, don’t get me wrong. I provide something more important than black dots and lines. What I do is provide an aural experience for all of you ladies out there. You feel that? I just blew you a kiss. Directly from my heart to your hips, babies.

"

What, you think I care?

INT – TOWN HALL OFFICE – DAY
A local councillor sits at his desk. A sign on his desk identifies him as ‘Councillor Graves’. There is a knock at his door.

COUNCIL
Come in.

In walks a strange looking fellow carrying a knapsack.

FELLOW
You asked to see me, sir?

COUNCIL
Oh yes! You’re the man responsible for
implementing Crime Prevention schemes in this
council, aren’t you?

FELLOW
Yes, sir. That’s me. Preventing crime is my main objective!

COUNCIL
Right. Well, we’ve been hearing certain things about your
Programs and I just thought I should hear your side of things
on the issue.

FELLOW
Of course. What specifically did you have in mind?

COUNCIL
Well, to begin with, your work with the local train stations.

FELLOW
Yes, yes, yes. Well…what happened was we were told by the council to stop the amount of giraffes at train stations.

COUNCIL
What?!

FELLOW
To stop giraffes on the platforms. Now, the job was much
easier than we initially suspected because we found there
actually were no giraffes at train stations anyway!

COUNCIL
You were mean to prevent graffiti! Not giraffes!

FELLOW
Oh…well that explains a few things, then.

COUNCIL
(sighs)
Well, what about the new CCTV initiatives?

FELLOW
Oh, that. That’s been harder than we thought.

COUNCIL
(suspiciously)
Why is that?

FELLOW
Well, I didn’t realise the Chinese Communist Party
was so hard to find.

COUNCIL
Chinese communist..? What? CCTV is ‘closed circuit
Television’! You know, security cameras?

FELLOW
(pauses, slightly embarrassed)
I see. In that case you’re probably not going to like our
new plan.

COUNCIL
(seething)
What’s that?

FELLOW
Security Cards at every entrance to a train station.

COUNCIL
(groans) Oh, no.

FELLOW
Yeah, check it out.

He produces from his pocket a small deck of playing cards with the words ‘Security Cards’ emblazoned on them.

FELLOW (cont’)
See, whenever you feel threatened, you just throw the
Cards at whoever is threatening you.
Watch… (flicks cards at Councillor)

COUNCIL
Get out!

FELLOW
(quickly)
Understood.

COUNCIL
And send in the next one!

The Fellow nods and reluctantly exits. After a beat of two, another person enters. He is riding a unicycle – badly. He is also carrying juggling pins and wearing outlandish, circus performer clothes.

COUNCIL
Oh God. And who are you?

CIRCUS
I’m the Social Worker this council hired.
What’s my first assignment?

Zappa, Hicks return from grave to wail on Bush

"

In a surprise move that has people the world over questioning the true nature of life and death, musician Frank Zappa and comedian Bill Hicks were spotted walking together in Washington D.C., despite both having been dead for more than a decade.

This obvious disadvantage notwithstanding, there have been numerous sightings all over the American city of the deceased pair and sources say their plan is to make it to the White House to ‘confront Bush Jr.’.

Both Zappa and Hicks, each noted as a pioneer in his field, were staunchly anti-Republican when alive and particularly scathing of the current President’s father George H.W. Bush. Hicks called Bush Snr ‘the elephant beast’, while Zappa considered the man to be a ‘micro-publican raised on hate’.
Sources say that when the world of the unliving caught wind of Bush Jr. becoming President, Zappa and Hicks were the first to begin the long march, which has taken five Earth years.

Fans of the dead artists have rejoiced at their heroes’ return, some even hoping new material will be released. ‘I’d really be stoked if Hicks had written a new routine based on what it’s like being a zombie in a post-9/11 world run by the elephant beast’s son’ said Joey Lawrence, president of the ‘We Want Our Thumbs’ fan club. ‘But he’ll probably just do some old JFK jokes.’

Zappa fanatics shared a similar position. ‘I just hope he manages to knock Bush out of the White House with an ear shattering guitar solo’ said Larry Charles, member of the ‘The Best Fan Club You Never Joined in Your Life' fan club. ‘Something that really cooks, like Black Napkins. That shit would fry Bush’s brain’.

Although neither of the reanimated stars could be reached for comment, witnesses reported that both looked ‘pretty pissed off’ as they approached the capital. ‘Oh boy, all heck’s gonna break loose if they get past White House security’ said Terrie Malone, of BrazilianBush.org. ‘All I can say is: watch out Mr. Bush. You were safe while they were dead, but now all you can do is pray’.

To this paper’s knowledge, Hicks and Zappa continue to march on the capital, edging ever-closer to their inter-universal rival. Federal police units have been warned and are positioning themselves around the White House

"

Britney Spears Remembers ‘the Good Ol’ Days’

"

Boy, it sure is hard being the world’s most recognizable pop star. Now that I’m well into my second marriage and partly through my first (publicized) pregnancy, I’ve had a bit of time off from my tireless routine of posing for photographs, eating, throwing up, miming to a pitch-corrected backing track and breastfeeding Kevin to reflect on the good ol’ days.

Back in the day, I was the hottest pub act in the business. Just before I hit the so called ‘big time’ label scouts would come from all the big cities to see my midnightly act, which attempted to fuse modern jazz fusion with 50s style rockabilly while still forging my own neo-industrial take on mid 90s Britpop.

It was a tough slog to begin with, what with venue managers and audiences alike objecting to what I was doing. At best they couldn’t understand what I was trying to do and dismissed it as pretentious; at worst calling my artistic endeavours ‘the Devil’s music’. Their ignorance never waned, and I was only given my chance to shine when the punters at ‘Wazoo’s Tavern’ staged a sit-in and demanded I be given a record deal. It didn’t quite work, but it gave me a lot of exposure which was great for my underground cred.

Yeah, sure it was rough and tumble – getting beer bottles hurled at me when the crowd didn’t agree with my political stance and the way my opinions manifested themselves in song – but it was gritty, dirty and ultimately real. So when I think about those days of 23 hours of waiting around, groupies wanting to make plaster casts of genitalia and towns that are sealed Tuna sandwiches, I look back on a time I will delight in telling my baby when he or she is born. And through him/her, those good ol’ days will never be lost.

"

Kylie Under Attack for PR faux-pas

"

International pop starlet Kylie Minogue, recently diagnosed with breast cancer, has come under fire from fellow ex-Neighbours actress Delta Goodrem for a ‘complete rip off’ of her PR campaign. ‘Listen, I have nothing against Kylie,' Goodrem said from her new home in London. ‘But when she steals my thunder and takes the most viable marketing tool I have ever had – cancer- and uses it for her own promotion, it just makes me sick.’

Goodrem’s management took the news the hardest. ‘We had upcoming singles that could be advertised by relating it to Hodgkin’s Disease, but now that Kylie’s doing it, it will seem hack’ Goodrem’s PR manager Glen Shaddick said. ‘It’s always the innovators that get forgotten. Well, I’m sending a message to her fans: remember who had the cancer first. Don’t support this rip off artist.’

Sally James of Minogue’s management team, speaking from London, dimissed suggestions that Kylie was using the same campaign. ‘First of all, there are stark differences between breast cancer and Hodgkin’s Disease. This is no more a rip-off than Delta’s forgotten “Leave me Alone” single was a rip off of Kylie’s brilliant “On a Night Like This”’ the Personal Assistant said. ‘Besides, if we’re going to talk about rip –offs, let’s talk about the lingere lines. Kylie was an artless sell-out way before Delta’.

Minogue’s shock announcement this week has sent ripples through the marketing community. ‘We couldn’t have wished for better luck, really’ said Tommy Dorfy, 39, of PR firm Impressio Grammatica Ltd. ‘When Delta had cancer, we figured we’d better milk it for all it was worth because we didn’t think lightning would strike in the same place twice. But it happened, and we have a story with enough pain to exploit until Christmas’

There have been rumours that Kylie’s marketing department had already drafted billboards that said ‘Kylie has Cancer. Real Cancer, not lymphoma. Her new single is out June 17’. This could not be confirmed by Dorfy, whose comment was that he had ‘no idea when her new single would be out.’

Not all media outlets, however, have taken the news so well. Glossy magazine New Ideal has spoken out against the media frenzy created by Minogue’s admission, calling for decorum when dealing with the matter. ‘After all, she deserves privacy as much as anybody’ said Bettie Prestinpinopoulos, editor of New Ideal. ‘Kylie will have our full support. Also, don’t forget to buy our upcoming issue, featuring Kylie walking out of a medical clinic. Exclusive shots!’ That issue of New Ideal will be out next week.

"

Holy Stopgap, God Man.

INT – DOCTOR’S WAITING ROOM – DAY
People are assembled in a surgery’s waiting room, reading magazines. Quiet music plays. Presently the Doctor enters and checks his clipboard.

DOCTOR
Um, next is…a Mr. Krist.

It is now revealed that there is a man resembling the popular depiction of Jesus Christ sitting in the waiting room, complete with long hair, beard, crown of thorns, sandals etc.

CHRIST
That’s Christ, actually.

DOCTOR
Oh, I’m sorry. Come through, please.

The Doctor leads JC into his office.

INT – DOCTOR’S SURGERY – DAY
The Doctor sits at his desk with Christ taking a seat opposite.

DOCTOR
Now, what seems to be the matter?

CHRIST
Well, Doc, I’ve got these - well, I guess they’re holes
- in my hands and feet.
(shows Doctor)

DOCTOR
Yes, I see. Gee, that’s quite a series of wounds you’ve
got there. Do you have any idea how you got them?

CHRIST
(thinking)
Hmm. I’m not sure. I was crucified. Could that have
anything to do with it?

DOCTOR
Possibly…

CHRIST
I also have this bloody great stab-wound in my side. Oh and the
multiple lacerations on my torso. Not to mention what this
crown of thorns (indicates crown) does for my migraines.

DOCTOR
Yes. Well, look, I’ll tell you what Mr Krist.

CHRIST
Christ.

DOCTOR
Right, sorry. Mr..Christ. Why don’t you come back
in three days’ time and we’ll see what arises?

CHRIST
Ah, ok. No problem. Thanks.

They shake hands and JC leaves. The Doc sits at his desk for a short time, then his face lights up. He has realised something.

DOCTOR
Oh!

The Atheist

The Atheist 

Richard Dawkins will kick your arse.

Big Brother Housemates still bunch of dickheads

"

Big Brother 2005 began this weekend, surprising nobody when the housemates were revealed to all be dickheads. Despite television commercials stating that this year’s season of Big Brother would be different to every other year, Big Brother 2005 followed in the footsteps of previous seasons, maintaining its standard of ‘mindless crap’.

‘Well, yeah, it was never really going to be that much different’ said PR executive for the show Charley Shandling. “That was just a ruse to fool the feeble minded. Hope nobody took it too seriously’. When asked why Big Brother could not improve just a little bit, Shandling replied ‘Well, nobody wants to watch interesting people sit around and talk. Our research shows that people think conversation is boring, especially if it’s intelligent.’ He went on to say that all that holds the show together is the slim chance that there will be some kind of sexual activity. Without the constant illusion of sexual tension, the programme would fail.

Big Brother 2005 had more applicants than all previous years and all current housemates are under the age of 30. This alone, commentators say, has ensured that Big Brother’s inmates are as much dickheads as their predecessors. ‘Yeah, we were very dedicated to making sure that this year’s housemates were as moronic, if not more moronic, than previous casts’ Shandling remarked. ‘In that regard, I think we should be commended: they really are knuckle draggers’.

This is not the first time that Big Brother has disappointed viewers. In its second season it was touted as being different than the previous year, which was also a promise broken. While some might consider this disingenuous, Shandling had a different point of view. ‘Well first of all, I don’t know what disingenuous means, but most importantly you have to realize that the vast majority of people who work here (Channel 10) know that you guys are morons’ the executive said. ‘And you continue to prove us right. Australia – your chicken is ready’. Big Brother is currently screening nightly on Channel Yen.

"

Bush Becomes Nihilist, Fucks Everything Off

"

George W. Bush, President of the United States of America, today made a startling announcement at a press conference outside the White House. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, in the last few weeks I have slowly come to realize that God is dead’ the most powerful man in the world said. ‘Therefore, I now consider myself a nihilist and there ain’t nothing none of you fuckers can do about it’. As part of his new philosophy, Bush has announced ‘Operation Fuck It’ which will culminate in the nuclear obliteration of every piece of land between Egypt and Iran and from Yemen to Turkey at 100 km intervals. He believes this will solve the ongoing Middle East crisis.

‘Seriously, fuck it’, said Bush. ‘I’m sick to death of the situation and I just plain don’t care anymore. Jesus isn’t saving us; Allah certainly isn’t and I want to get through one day without hearing about the trouble in the Middle East.’ Operation Fuck It was put to a vote yesterday and was passed almost without exception.
During question time as Bush’s press conference ended, angry journalists asked the President how he could justify mass slaughter as a viable solution to an international political situation. Bush’s response was to put his index fingers in his ears and sing the SOD song 'Fuck the Middle East’.

This shock decision has divided the world along geographic lines. Ambassadors in Oman and Turkey have pleaded with the US to reconsider the borders of their ‘controlled holocaust’, while most everyone in the Western world has remained silent, including anonymous statements of support from many UN delegates.

Operation Fuck It will commence tomorrow, with mobilization of Air Force personnel. Many religious organizations have asked believers to pray, despite the US President’s new stance that ‘prayer and belief is for those living in a fantasy land’.

In a candid interview after today’s press conference, First Lady Laura Bush reassured journalists that the President was probably just ‘going through one of his phases’ and that he will be over it soon enough. When asked what might have brought on this unexpected philosophical shift, Mrs Bush replied ‘Well, we did watch Fight Club the other night, but to be honest I’m not quite sure he understood it, poor dear.’

"

Politican Has Full Support of Dedicated Sycophants

"

State Minister for Catalepsy Strom Thwaites today unveiled his new ‘Whole Lotta Good Stuff’ campaign today, with the complete and utter support of his board of Yes-men. Egged on by cries of ‘Woo, yeah! Go Strommy!’ from Thwaite’s sycophantic team every time he outlined a point, the former backbencher said he felt ‘pretty damn confident’ that the campaign will be a success.
‘I have the support of my board of lackeys and they tell me that this policy initiative is the best thing they’ve ever seen’ Thwaites said. ‘So, of course I’m looking forward to implementation. It will be a vindication of everything I and the spineless sucker-fish that attach themselves to me have worked at for the last 6 months’.

Thwaites' remora-like advisors toed the party line when asked about their boss’ chance at success. ‘There is no doubt that the Whole Lotta Good Stuff campaign will be the biggest, most important event in history’ said Greg Kepman, IT consultant. ‘The man is a God’ added the toady Reggie Zielman, of Thwaites' High Fives Plus sector for accelerated arse-licking, currently up for promotion.

This is not the first time such a team has been supportive of their employer. The underlings of former Health Minister Jack Davien were equally enthusiastic when he drafted the ‘Nothing in particular’ legislation. Davien’s boot lickers were firmly behind the MP all the way until the Bill sunk like concrete galoshes.

Despite this troubled history with a board of brown-nosers, Thwaites is not fazed. 'I searched far and wide to find the most mindless team of retards on earth to form my advisory council' said the Minister. 'I have complete and utter faith in their ability to parrot me'. The Whole Lotta Good Stuff campaign begins tomorrow, unless Thwaites wants to change it - which his board is also fine with.

"

“Ask the Channel 31 Rambles!”

'Hey guys, I’m a big fan of your show and I have a question about the creative side of the programme. I’ve started writing my own comedy scripts and I’d like to ask you guys how you go about your writing! So, how can I be just as good as you?
Thanks xxoo
Lozza, Greensborough'

The Rambles reply:
"Writing? Nah, love, you’ve got it aaaall wrong. We at the Rambles don’t put fingers to keyboard at all in the creation of our show. Comedy ‘writing’ is so easy that you don’t have to formalise anything, you can just make it up on the spot. Like that show ‘Whose Line is it Anyway?’! It’s great because it’s unscripted.
For example, the skit in this week’s episode where we had the devil being neighbours with two priests. Now, forget for a moment that I did steal the basic joke from Big Train and consider our brilliance. First of all, all we did was walk into a costume store and pick out a wide variety of apparel. After all, Loz, the first rule of comedy is: costumes can and should stand in for an actual gag as often as possible! Second law of comedy: characters don’t have to be developed at all. Take Wanky Uncle!. Never mind that he’s based on a false premise, uses catch phrases instead of jokes and is a rip off of Eric Bana’s Chopper: the character is funny (or so our legions of female teenage fans and sycophants tell us)!
Oh, and before I forget: puns. Never underestimate the value of a pun-joke. If you can’t think of any yourself, please refer to any old Knock Knock or Doctor Doctor joke books you may have lying around your little brother’s playpen. That playpen has been very good luck for me.
So, yeah, get that idea of properly scripting ideas, writing more than once a week and coming up with sketches that have a proper form and purpose out of your pretty little head. I look forward to seeing some mediocre entertainment coming from you very soon, Lozza."

'Love the show, guys, especially the Gutter Talk segment. How can I improve my chances of appearing in this segement?
Todd, Hopper's Crossing'

The Rambles reply:
"Well, Todd, aside from being elderly, homeless or a member of a minority, there are many ways we can exploit you against your wishes on our vox pop section. For one, make sure you have nothing to say at all. Also, make sure you pause just before you speak so that we can make some sharp and bitingly satirical comment at your expense based on your appearance, accent or resemblance to a celebrity.
A corollary to this is to pause after we’ve finished lambasting you so that we can cut to the next victim -oops, I mean fan - without jump cutting. Our editing is shithouse as it is.
Aside from that, what can I really say? If you’re in any way able to speak articulately, of intelligence higher than a newt and able to make us look like fools, chances are we’re not going to use your footage even if we do see you strolling down Bourke St wearing a Chicken costume (which you probably stole from us, you stealer). "

'Rambles,
Re: the programme on c31 known as the Rambles. I would like to comment on the offensive nature of the TV show. I have watched your show a few times now and am appalled on many levels by the subjects of certain sketches. Please, tell me, do you even think through what you are doing or is it just all a big joke to you?
Mr. Josh Scott, Templestowe'

The Rambles reply:
"Woah, looks like we got ourselves a MORON here, guys. Listen, buddy, you obviously have no life whatsoever and spend all your time trying to be funny. Here’s some advice: leave being funny to the professionals, i.e., us. We don’t have to try to be funny, we just are. In fact, no effort at all goes into what we do, so there. So you just go back to your blogging or whatever it is you dickheads do and leave us to come up with more great pun-based skits. Get this idiot out of my office. Next!"

'Dear Rambles
Since you had a joke about Osama bin Laden in your latest episode, I’d like to ask how you can justify using such a loaded figure as a subject of ridicule. I’m a little confused as to what your comedic intent was. Are you trying to subvert the form of celebrity questionnaires by using a known terrorist as the subject and thus making a satirical statement about current pop culture? Or perhaps you’re using humour to diffuse a potentially frightening prospect – terrorism, and to make the issue seem more manageable, as some kind of catharsis?
Or maybe you are using the Trey Parker-esque ‘everything is shit’ ethic, where the philosophical stance of your show is ‘we have no stance’, in which case you have shown yourselves to be hypocrites since having no stance is in fact a stance in itself. You see, guys, I’m a little concerned that you don’t understand that anything that anyone contributes to any arena is discursive. That is, even the most facile, stupid and moronic television show is actually saying something about the society that produced it. You cannot help but reflect and comment on society, even if you don’t mean to. So, I ask: how are you justifying your depiction of Osama bin Laden?
I don’t mean to be rude, I would just like clarification.
Sincerely,
Jack, Werribee.'

The Rambles reply:
"Eww! Dude, you come from Werribee? Smells like someone needs a bath! Ooh, but you’d better not use Werribee water: you’d be bathing in shit! I am LOLing as a type, my friend. I bet you even SMELL like Osama bin Laden. Maybe you two are related! Because, like, bin Laden smells like shit and you come from Werribee, where they shit from my toilet goes when I flush! Get it? I bet you don’t, you smelly, smelly man. Oh boy, I’m inspired now. I’m going to go and make up a character called Jack from Werribee for our next show! Holy shit, this is going to be an awesome character. Holy what? Holy shit!! Yeah, you bless the toilets in Werribee– Holy shit! Oh man, I can't believe you live there. Thanks for writing in."

Tune in again next week when the Rambles answer questions on foreign policy.