God Fails to Deliver Justice Yet Again

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God, the almighty mythical being prayed to by millions around the world in hundreds of religions, has once again failed to deliver justice. With the Indonesian Court’s decision this afternoon that Australian Shappelle Corby is guilty of possession and importation of marijuana, commentators are saying He is just not doing His job and should possibly consider retiring.

The Lord Almighty, a portly creature – some might even say lazy – was reported to be lounging about in an old bean bag chair and eating doughnuts with soft drink when Ms. Corby was praying to Him at the conclusion of her months-long trial. He is said to have let out a great burp when Corby looked skyward to seek His guidance. Some sources have attributed the following quote to God: ‘Meh, I’ll get around to it, maybe’. Most surprising are reports that God was in fact smoking a joint when he was expected to sweep down and arse-rape the Indonesian Justice System and enforce Holy justice.

This is not the first time God has not intervened when He was most needed. The recent humanitarian crisis in Sudan, not to mention ongoing problems in Iran and Iraq, have gone unaccompanied by any action by the supposed Saviour. Such inability or unwillingness to do anything has led many to believe that even if He does in fact exist, it probably doesn’t matter, such is his impotence. There have also been reports that God Himself has stopped believing in himself. ‘Yeah, I guess I am pretty much a piece of shit’ the Almighty said. God is expected to appear on a toasted sandwich later this week in a feeble attempt to atone for His recent shortcomings.

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