Holy Stopgap, God Man.

INT – DOCTOR’S WAITING ROOM – DAY
People are assembled in a surgery’s waiting room, reading magazines. Quiet music plays. Presently the Doctor enters and checks his clipboard.

DOCTOR
Um, next is…a Mr. Krist.

It is now revealed that there is a man resembling the popular depiction of Jesus Christ sitting in the waiting room, complete with long hair, beard, crown of thorns, sandals etc.

CHRIST
That’s Christ, actually.

DOCTOR
Oh, I’m sorry. Come through, please.

The Doctor leads JC into his office.

INT – DOCTOR’S SURGERY – DAY
The Doctor sits at his desk with Christ taking a seat opposite.

DOCTOR
Now, what seems to be the matter?

CHRIST
Well, Doc, I’ve got these - well, I guess they’re holes
- in my hands and feet.
(shows Doctor)

DOCTOR
Yes, I see. Gee, that’s quite a series of wounds you’ve
got there. Do you have any idea how you got them?

CHRIST
(thinking)
Hmm. I’m not sure. I was crucified. Could that have
anything to do with it?

DOCTOR
Possibly…

CHRIST
I also have this bloody great stab-wound in my side. Oh and the
multiple lacerations on my torso. Not to mention what this
crown of thorns (indicates crown) does for my migraines.

DOCTOR
Yes. Well, look, I’ll tell you what Mr Krist.

CHRIST
Christ.

DOCTOR
Right, sorry. Mr..Christ. Why don’t you come back
in three days’ time and we’ll see what arises?

CHRIST
Ah, ok. No problem. Thanks.

They shake hands and JC leaves. The Doc sits at his desk for a short time, then his face lights up. He has realised something.

DOCTOR
Oh!