Bush Becomes Nihilist, Fucks Everything Off

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George W. Bush, President of the United States of America, today made a startling announcement at a press conference outside the White House. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, in the last few weeks I have slowly come to realize that God is dead’ the most powerful man in the world said. ‘Therefore, I now consider myself a nihilist and there ain’t nothing none of you fuckers can do about it’. As part of his new philosophy, Bush has announced ‘Operation Fuck It’ which will culminate in the nuclear obliteration of every piece of land between Egypt and Iran and from Yemen to Turkey at 100 km intervals. He believes this will solve the ongoing Middle East crisis.

‘Seriously, fuck it’, said Bush. ‘I’m sick to death of the situation and I just plain don’t care anymore. Jesus isn’t saving us; Allah certainly isn’t and I want to get through one day without hearing about the trouble in the Middle East.’ Operation Fuck It was put to a vote yesterday and was passed almost without exception.
During question time as Bush’s press conference ended, angry journalists asked the President how he could justify mass slaughter as a viable solution to an international political situation. Bush’s response was to put his index fingers in his ears and sing the SOD song 'Fuck the Middle East’.

This shock decision has divided the world along geographic lines. Ambassadors in Oman and Turkey have pleaded with the US to reconsider the borders of their ‘controlled holocaust’, while most everyone in the Western world has remained silent, including anonymous statements of support from many UN delegates.

Operation Fuck It will commence tomorrow, with mobilization of Air Force personnel. Many religious organizations have asked believers to pray, despite the US President’s new stance that ‘prayer and belief is for those living in a fantasy land’.

In a candid interview after today’s press conference, First Lady Laura Bush reassured journalists that the President was probably just ‘going through one of his phases’ and that he will be over it soon enough. When asked what might have brought on this unexpected philosophical shift, Mrs Bush replied ‘Well, we did watch Fight Club the other night, but to be honest I’m not quite sure he understood it, poor dear.’

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