Operation Enduring Lapdance is in the house.

First of all, fuck the Oscars. Finding Neverland gets nominated and nothing for Kill Bill Vol. 2, The Passion of the Christ or Fahrenheit 9/11? This is a coup, pure and simple.

Second of all, fuck firing squads. I guess that also includes 'fuck Indonesia'. Schapelle Corby has been in a cell in Indonesia for the past three months and is accused of drug smuggling. Her trial has just started and 'faces a death sentence if convicted of drug trafficking and a life sentence if convicted of drug importation' (smh.com.au). Oh, and she's Australian.
Of course, when I say 'drug smuggling', I'm talking about marijuana. Yeah, that evil drug. Does this bother anyone else? We live very close to a country where an Australian woman is potentially going to be SHOT TO DEATH by a firing squad because she was found with marijuana in her boogie board bag. She has plead not guilty, but that's not even the point. This is one time where, as anthropologically stupid as it is, I have to call these people savages.

I cannot believe we are in the 21st century and the death penalty is still around. I especially cannot believe that America still has it, but at least there it is the highest penalty for only very high crimes. Obviously Indonesia has a different outlook on what consitutes punishment fitting the crime. I would like to see the statistics on how much of a deterrent the death penalty is in stopping people from possessing A PLANT that grows naturally upon the planet.
We really should start a letting writing campaign or something to help Ms. Corby. But what would we write, "Excuse me Indonesia, please change your irrational laws because even though I realise I'm speaking on a Western-designed scale of 'advancement' when I say you are living in the dark ages, she's a fucking human being and it was a PLANT."?

Maybe John Howard's office needs some letters, or something. This is serious.

Third of all, fuck Sony records. Fiona Apple's label Sony/Epic has shelved her third album Extraordinary Machine because cannot find a single, apparently.
"Fiona Apple finished recording Extraordinary Machine in May of 2003, but Sony/Epic executives did not think it would sell enough copies to justify the cost of promoting and distributing it. Rather than spend more money, Sony/Epic decided to cut their losses and not release the album at this time"(freefiona.com)

Now, from what has been leaked from the album, it's a great album. This is yet another miscarriage of justice. Fiona Apple can't get her album released and yet Shannon Noll still walks the earth? That's ridiculous and I'm embarassed.
The people at freefiona.com started a letter writing campaign for the American fans to send apple-themed letter to the head of Sony so that a whole bunch of stuff would arrive in the same week (ending Jan 28).
Anyway, I want to help her too. So should you.

It's a crazy world and I'm wondering if I'm still proud to be a part of it.

http://www.freefiona.com/
http://www.smh.com.au/news/World/Day-of-reckoning-Corby-faces-court/2005/01/27/1106415738749.html?oneclick=true

Testing

Boo Hoo Hooey

So cartoonist Sean Leahy of the Courier-Mail, replacing Mark Knight while on leave, thinks the ‘Oil Rich Arab States’ aren’t giving enough to help the tsunami victims. In Saturday’s Herald Sun his comic showed three helicopters carrying Aid. The first helicopter said ‘Australian Aid: $1 Billion’, The second helicopter, just further away, said ‘US AID: $450 Million’ and the third helicopter, further away again, said ‘Oil Rich Arab States: $50 million’. The caption to this crude excuse for satire read ‘Waves of Compassion’.

Well, sorry, Mr Leahy but that’s completely out of order. Notwithstanding the exchange rates, Oil Rich Arab states are busy, man. Some of them are busy being introduced to freedom and democracy, while at the same time busy avoiding not being blown up by terrorists, the US military and their own governments. Some of them are very busy being murdered by their husbands. Some are busy murdering their wives. Most of them are busy being slaves to dogmatic anachronisms.

Some of them are busy harbouring resentment for nations which get aid from Western nations. Some are just busy harbouring terrorists. Some are busy BEING terrorists. The people and governments of these Oil Rich Arab States are busy, Mr Leahy. So, sorry if the Oil Rich Arab States don’t feel like digging fucking deep.

I just came up with a really good, funny idea for a comic. What if the cartoon had been about aid sent to Darfur? Would we then have three empty helicopters? THAT would be funny, I tells you.

Goodbye 2004.

Quick rundown:

Best Album: Morrissey - You are the Quarry
(Special mentions: the Dissociatives, Missy Higgins)

Best Film: Dogville

Best TV Show: John Safran vs. God
(Special mentions: The Panel, the Chaser Decides, Mythbusters)

Best Book: A Devil's Chaplain - Richard Dawkins

Song I Never Ever, Ever want to hear again:
U2 - vertigo (Special mention: Maroon 5 - She Will be Loved)