Oh my God, you guys! I think my drink was spiked!

"

This is a very important message for all you girls out there. Ok, so, for reals, I think my drink was spiked last night. No, I'm being serious. I woke up this morning and I couldn't remember what happened last night. Don't laugh and say this happens all the time because I know for a fact that it doesn't. I am, however, convinced that it's happening more and more. Not just to me but to other vulnerable 80 kilo females as well. My proof is in the pudding. The pudding of spiked drinks, that is.

Last night was scary, I tell you. It's almost like each time I went to the bar and got a drink I felt more and more hazy and as time more time passed, the less I can recall about the night. All this has lead me to the conclusion that there must be some sort of active ingredient in all the drinks they sell at this particular pub. Some sort of chemical concotion that, when mixed with a tasty beverage like a Cruiser or a Lemon Ruski, makes one lose her inhibitions, become louder and turns that crappy cover band into a divine musical inspiration. Actually, they were pretty good, weren't they?

Maybe I was dressing like a target for these evil spikers. Let me see now, what was I wearing out last night? See, I can't even remember that, especially since I didn't wake up with my own clothes on. This has got to stop. A girl can't even go out and have eight to twelve nice drinks with the ladies without waking up in disoriented, head-ached and nauseous anymore. What is the world coming to?

Actually, come to think of it, the same thing happened last time I went out with the girls. And that time I ended up waking up in a bed with, um, what's that guy's name? That guy with the, uh...shirt? Yeah, he scared my kids a little. Especially when he introduced himself as "Daddy Steve" and offered to take them out for breakfast hotcakes.

And, you know what? Now that I think about it, I think my drink was spiked at Laurel and John's wedding too. Why else would I be dancing like a fool and embarassing myself on that video that Colin insists on showing everyone? It's almost like every time I go to a bar and get a refreshing drink from it, every sip I have is affecting my physiology. The only conclusion I can come to is that some evil being is spiking my drinks with an intoxicating agent. I'm not even sure if this being is human.

So, yeah, I think I'd better call the cops, because this is happening way too often.

"