Outrage at Schools Teaching Leftist, Christ-like Values

"

Parents groups have expressed widespread outrage at a recent report that found teachers in Australian schools were teaching students left-wing values. Catholic schools had the most incidences of leftist teachers, citing 'Jesus' as the source of their extremist views, closely followed by some Church of England academies.

"These maverick educators have got to be stopped" said concerned parent Donald Trousers, whose daughter attends one of the Catholic schools accused of expressing leftist views in classes. "Just the other day Bridget came home from school, crying because her school was telling her to donate money to a fund to help the Sudanese refugees. Now, we didn't send her to a Catholic schools to be taught these leftwing, pinko values."

Mother of three school-age children Janet Warburton concurred, saying that leftwing teachers were telling her sons "all kinds of filthy commie rubbish". Examples she cited included teachers telling students to care for the poor and downtrodden outcasts and "something about not casting the first stone"

Rightwing columnists joined parents and politicians in the fight against 'activist teachers', starting a letter writing campaign to secondary schools across all eight jurisdictions of Australia. The hope is that these letters will influence the schools to balance out their dogma of 'peace, love and understanding' with viewpoints from other sides of politics, such as 'me, me, me' and 'fuck 'em'.

Conservative commentator Andy Doldrum said that although he is a Christian, he is opposed to such left-leaning values being taught in independent and state schools. "Look, I go to mass every week, but I think Jesus' message of peace is too politically loaded to be taught in schools these days" the 46 year old said. When asked what he thinks a good syallabus would be, Doldrum suggested his new book "Stupid Bloody Lefties" should be taught as an example of "objective and measured commentary".

"