"I don't think drawing a moustache on John Howard is political satire, man"

"

Look, man, I know you consider yourself an aspiring comedian. An undiscovered gem at the skin of the water about to break through. You probably even believe you're going to have huge success. But, I think that, as your friend, I should make you aware of something. I realise you think you're a master at political satire, but you know what? I don't think drawing a moustache on John Howard's face in a picture counts as political satire. Yes, I'm being serious. Sure, it looks silly and all but I think you're missing the point here. If it is a political statement, it's a fairly naive and trite one.

And while we're on the issue, I'm also pretty sure that making fun of the physical defects of somebody you don't like isn't satirical either. I mean, sure Kim Beazley is fat. And, sure, Latham was a pear shaped pudgy guy. And, yeah, Alexander Downer has little vaginas under his eyes. But that's not...I mean...well, it's not actually comedy is it? I mean, don't you have any...I don't know..jokes about their policies or their morals or something? No, I don't think calling Bill Clinton an adulterer counts either. Besides, what year is this? Oh.

Mate, I don't want to get you down but if I didn't know any better I'd have to say you don't actually know much about anything and are just using public figures for ridicule because that's the only form of humour you can understand. Why don't you check out some Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, David Cross or Eddie Izzard to see how political humour can be done well? What? No, I'm pretty sure Dennis Miller doesn't count.

Well, why don't you give me some of your latest political jokes and we'll see if I laugh. OK, shoot. Ten things you love about Bill O'Reilly? Man, have you been paying attention to anything I've been saying? Using a poltical figure in your comedy doesn't make that comedy political. You know that, don't you? Well, what else? A sketch where Tony Blair is called Tony Hair and he has hair all over his body and keeps tripping over his long head of hair? Actually, that's not bad. But, no, not satire.

Also, you know that thing you do where you take an old joke and insert political content into it? Like "Why did Nastasha Stott-Despoja cross the road? To suck my dick". Yeah. Not poltical satire. No, not "Knock Knock. Who's there? No WMDs" either.

Oh, hey. Don't cry, man. This isn't me trying to bag you or your art or anything. It's just that I can't help but think you're not quite understanding how this kind of humour works. Look, you'll just have to learn from the masters. I can't help you alone. Maybe listen to some Frank Zappa, or watch CNNNN. Maybe even start reading the newspaper once in a while. You'll get the hang of things.

What do you mean, 'who's Frank Zappa?' ?


"