Robert Doyle Builds Spaceship for Pedophile

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Outraged at the news that convicted pedophile Charles Alan Smith is now living in Victoria after being transferred from Perth in a parole transfer scheme, state Opposition Leader Robert Doyle has built a homemade spaceship in which to place the disgraced former Salvation Army major.

“Why should Victoria become the dumping ground for other states’ pedophiles?” said Doyle, as he added the finishing touches of paint to his rocket. “I made some calls to other states, but they didn’t want to take him either. Not even Tassie. So, it became clear what I had to do: build a spaceship, Robbie!”

The Liberal MP is confident the spacecraft will get off the ground and orbit the earth for the term of Smith’s natural life. Doyle also suggested there was room enough in the rocket to house more than one child sex offender, including the infamous and recently released Mr. Baldy.

However, some conservative commentators have expressed discomfort with Doyle’s plan, saying that if pedophiles are allowed to orbit the earth, they might still be dangerous.

“Surely Mr. Doyle cannot be serious about letting pedophiles orbit the earth” said Labelled Victims of Crime Coalition chairman David Xanadu. “The telescopes they have in those spaceships are so high powered the pedophiles can actually see our kids on the playground from space!"

Xanadu plans to fight Doyle's spaceship plan until the state Opposition Leader agrees to uninstall the telescopes. Doyle is reportedly considering it.

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