Alpha SS-PUA is complete FW

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Residents of rural town Glen Gully, in South Northern Victoria, have expressed a profound dislike for a self-professed ‘mack daddy’ that has been ‘sarging’ all the local females with little success for the past few weeks.

Gareth Johns, 20, has recently attracted widespread disdain from locals after trying out his newfound skills as an ‘alpha-male’ on almost every lady in the tiny hamlet, from the coffee shop waitresses to the female librarian. “What can I say? I am the man” Johns said. “You can’t just try once and give up – that’s what you AFC and wussy bitches out there might do – but I take life by the horns and get back on that horse”.

Typically Johns’ sarging technique includes walking up to women and girls on the street and saying “Have you ever noticed that I am – incredibly – the man for you? If you could find yourself in my pants, I feel hot”.

The IT student reportedly first started exhibiting the lecherous behaviour after reading some literature on the internet written by self-help guru Ross Jeffries, founder of the Speed Seduction technology.

“He used to be a pretty cool guy” said former classmate Gary Crocker. “But ever since he started reading up on all these pick up masters, he’s turned into a one dimensional sex maniac. The irony is, he hardly ever succeeds.”

Ex-girlfriend Jenna Massoli was also critical. “John’s never been one for commitment” the exotic dancer said. “I’ve read up on SS, DYD and all that: I’m pretty sure he’s not even doing it right”.

Linda Taylord, proprietor of the local hair and body boutique, is bemused by the matter. “I have nothing against the boy trying out pick up lines on the beautiful young creatures in this town” the 54 year old widow said. “I just can’t understand why he hasn’t yet tried any material on me”.

While confusion may reign in some areas, one thing, however, is certain: to the inhabitants of the sparsely populated Glen Gully, this newly formed PUA is a genuine FW.

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