"Dude, you've been away from the computer way too long for a 'BRB'"

"

OK, so I realise you've been waiting around all day for a phone call from overseas informing you whether or not your grandmother is going to live through the night, but I don't think that exempts you from common net courtesy. What I'm talking about, dude, is your misuse of the informal netspeak initialism 'brb'. You have been away from your computer way too long for that to still apply. OK, so you've at least made the effort to inform me that you will be away for a time, but it is inaccurate and misleading to use 'brb' when it is more appropriate to utilise 'bbl'. And I think I deserve better.

Let me illustrate: a 'brb' is for short trips away from your desktop, such as going to make a coffee or going to the toilet for number Ones (not number Twos - that's more like a 'bbs'). You, however, have been away for more than fifteen minutes, which is hardly a length that one can be 'right back' from.

Listen, an online relationship runs on efficiency of communication. The language we use is agreed upon by netspeakers all over the world. For you to abuse the similiarity between 'brb' and 'bbl' is akin to saying 'fuck you' instead of 'fondu' in spoken English. All facets of language, even informal slang, need to be adhered to. Otherwise we are no better than the animals. I cannot stress how important and concrete the functions of 'brb', 'bbs', 'bbl', 'lol' and so on are.

Of course, there are certain situations where these general rules can be forgone. For example, if you are chatting online with somebody who has suddenly gone quiet, and seems uninterested in your convesation at all; or if the chat session has slowly died a slow, but healthy, death and resurrecting it just for the sake of a 'brb' might be redundant and annoying; or of you have reason to believe the person you are talking to is not who they say they are: an internet fraud. In these cases it is acceptable and even advisable to not bother with the 'brb' or a 'bbl'.

But you and I are friends, dude. Surely I deserve the respect and consideration that a 'bbl' confers. After all, haven't I gone to the trouble of making the distinction between a short trip away ('brb') and an extended one ('bbl')? Do I not deserve the same courtesy?

See, I keep mentioning that word: courtesy. And that's what it comes down to, dude. It's just common courtesy.

"