Problems Douglas Wood may have to deal with now he's been released.

- Fashion magazines asking about THAT haircut.

- Getting weaned off gruel after weeks of poor food only to be fed even worse stuff at Army bases.

- Padding out his book after the phrase "I was bound, gagged, blindfolded and terrified the whole time" has been used up.

- Putting up with idiotic media referring to him as the familial 'Doug' when he was treated as all but dead by news stations when in captivity.


Douglas Wood, now affectionately known as 'Doug' to the news media that forgot about him.

- Having to constantly correct interviewers who assume it was Australian Special Forces who rescued him

- Putting up with idiotic news media cheapening his experience by using his predilection for beer and football to fit their pathetic 'Aussie battler' mold.

- Having to bite his lip when the US and Australian governments take his release as a personal victory.

- Feigning amusement when Rove and his remoras make inappropriate and unfunny jokes at his expense.

- Convincing people he is sane, despite considering returning to Iraq.

- Having to put up with bloggers writing Mad Magazine-esque lists at his expense.