Comedy Lovers

EXT - PARK - DAY
A male and female couple sit on a park bench with their arms around eachother. They kiss passionately. Smile. This is a major public-display-of-affection session and they don't seem to care. The music is sickeningly sweet.

MAN
I love you.

FEMALE
I love you more!

They kiss again. A man walking his dog strolls into shot. He is wearing a suit and tie. He looks at the couple and apprehensively begins to talk.

WALKING DOG MAN
(with little expression)
Gee...(sighs)..
They sure are in love.

The Walking Dog Man turns to face the camera.

WALKING DOG MAN
Yes, that's the punch line.
(pauses, breaking character)
Humiliating, isn't it? When comedy writers fall in love, this is what happens.
But together, we can stop the madness.
So, if you know any comedy writers, please: kill their girlfriends.
(beat)
Or comedy will be reduced to this...

The couple on the bench stop kissing.

MAN
Knock knock

FEMALE
Who's there?

MAN
I love.

FEMALE
I love who?

MALE
I love you!

The Walking Dog Man coughs, trying to stifle his gag reflex.

WALKING DOG MAN
Give generously to the Single Comedians Benefit.
(looks behind him)
Please.

The music swells to a climax as a title appears across the screen. It reads "Stop the Madness: Keep Comedians Single."

End.