Family Member Dying Screws Up Christmas Dinner Plans

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Rosie McDonald's extended family is distraught after brother-in-law Jake McDonald died mysteriously overnight. The aspiring actor was aged just 34.

Although not very close to Jake, Rosie McDonald expressed great doubts about the success of the holiday season following his death.
'This is just a disaster' McDonald said. 'This throws our entire Christmas Day plans completely out of whack. Now where's everyone going to sit?'

McDonald added that Jake's death meant her meticulously planned seating arrangement, based on UN Security Council meetings, was ruined, since 'there must be the perfect balance: if one member of the family isn't there, the whole scene falls apart'.

Rosie's planning of Christmas dinner and related events is a long held tradition in the McDonald family, ever since she married Jake's brother Andy and declared herself 'Queen of the Christmas Kitchen and KK Plans'. This was a position not previously held by any member of the immediate McDonald family, who had hitherto opted for a Christmas dinner eaten on laps in the lounge room.

Another famous new tradition that Andy's wife brought to the family was a diagrammatic KK system, where each person's KKs for the next five years is mapped in a chart. Jake's death has made this already unpopular idea untenable, with Rosie reportedly fuming that her brother-in-law had the gall to die before the time on her first KK graph had elapsed.

Andy and Jake's sister Pheobe said that although Jake's death was, 'I guess, a tragedy,' she felt 'sorta relieved that we don't have to adhere to Rosie's plans. I mean, my KK this year was Uncle Teddy. She knows I hate that guy'.

The matriarch of the McDonald clan, Mrs. Liliana McDonald concurred with her daughter, noting that 'That bitch has been fucking up our Christmas plans for way too many years. If only my son was man enough to stand up to her!'

Brother of the deceased - and Rosie's husband - Andy could not be reached for comment. Family members mentioned he was 'probably apologising to his wife for his brother's untimely, completely unexpected passing'.

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