Abortion: the case For and Against, with modest conclusions.

Against: Abortion is murder.
For: Meat is murder, too.
Conclusion: Let’s combine the two and eat those aborted fetuses.

Against: We shouldn’t kill anything sentient. Fetuses are sentient.
For: We shouldn’t kill anything sentient. Fetuses aren’t sentient.
Conclusion: Sentience means shit.

Against: Fetuses are cute. They can play with rattles and shit all day long, wear nappies and they even talk inside the womb.
For: Cattle are cute. They lie around all day and make funny noises that are very human-like. It’s just adorable.
Conclusion: Cuteness means shit.

Against: Just look at this picture, you cruel fucks.
For: Just look at this picture, you cruel fucks.
Neither for nor against: Just look at this picture, you cruel fucks.
Conclusion: Pictures mean shit.

For: People who are pro-life support the war in Iraq, which is ironic, since war is murder.
Against: People who are pro-choice are against the death penalty, which is ironic, since abortion is murder.
Conclusion: Irony means shit.

For: There are too many people in the world.
Against: There aren’t enough people in the world.
Conclusion: People mean shit.

For: You aren’t human until you’ve lived in the social world.
Against: If you don't allow something to live in the social world, how can it ever become human?
Conclusion: Twins are human in utero: they can be social with eachother. Single babies are not.

For: Babies aren’t babies until they are born.
Against: A shit is a shit before it comes out of your bottom.
Conclusion: The sorites paradox will not help.

Against: People should take responsibility for their actions and learn to live with the consequences of their actions.
For: My responsibility is to my friends: to party all night and hook up with heaps of guys whilst drunk.
Conclusion: Responsibilities are relative.

Against: Abortion is murder and therefore a sin.
For: I was raped by my brother and incest is a sin.
Conclusion: Religion means shit.

Against: I’m pro-life.
For: I’m pro-choice.
Conclusion: Irreducible complexity. Arguments need to get beyond this.