Senior

INT - COUNCIL OFFICE - DAY
An office, mid-morning, doing good business. There is a line of elderly people queuing up to a booth.
There is also a young man at the front of the line. A bell rings.

APPLICATION LADY
Next please.

YOUNG MAN
Hi. I'd like to apply for a senior citizen's card.

APPLICATION LADY
I bet you would.
(beat)
No, seriously. How can I help you?

YOUNG MAN
That's what I want. A senior's card.

APPLICATION LADY
I'll be happy to....in about fifty years. Right now you're
just a tad too young.

YOUNG MAN
No. You don't understand. I'm ill.

APPLICATION LADY
Aren't we all, my boy. Pharmacy's down the road.

YOUNG MAN
What I mean is, I'm dying.
(beat)
I want a senior citizen's card because, you know, for all
intents and purposes I am aged...

APPLICATION LADY
Excuse me? You have got to be joking. What are you dying of?

YOUNG MAN
Something serious. Look, I've got my ID right here. Just...
(begins to break down) I...I...just want the same concessions made of
other people who are...(sniffs)...this close to the end.

APPLICATION LADY
I see. Let me get the manager.

She slips out for a moment, while the young man patiently waits, rocking back and forth on his heels. She returns with a man in a suit and glasses.

MANAGER
So, young man. I understand you have a very unusual request. Now, I'm
a compassionate man. I see your distress. I think, just this once, we can
make an exception to our...somewhat agesist rules.

The manager takes the young man's ID and begins filling out a senior's card application.

YOUNG MAN
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. I'll make sure my family invites you
to my funeral.

MANAGER
Here you go, your own senior's card. I hope you get at least some enjoyment
out of it.

YOUNG MAN
Oh, I will.
(about face, jumps up and points at the Manager and Application Lady)
Suckers!

The young man runs away, giggling.

APPLICATION LADY
Poor kid. He's delusional.

It is now revealed that the Application Lady's booth has a sign above it that says "Applications for Sponge Cake Contest". The camera further pulls back to reveal a table to the right of the booth with a vast array of sponge cakes with numbers on them. It's a senior's cake competition, clearly.

End.