"Cock, I'm sorry I didn't pick that girl up tonight"
"
OK, cock. I know you've had a bit of a hard slog of late. I guess I have some explaining and apologising to do. I am sorry, cock. I am sorry for not sealing the deal with that girl tonight. I could have sworn she was into me. You don't deserve this, I know.
Don't think I don't know what you're going through. Far from it. Shit, I've been right there with you through every failed attempt. I know you're just as sick of my hand as I am, dude. So, yeah, I'm really fucking sorry about all this. Especially tonight. Man, I can't believe I screwed it up. I was pulling all my best moves, too, you know. I think she was into me all night long. Yeah, until right at the end just when it was quietening down and things had the potential to get more intimate. Then she casually mentions her boyfriend and how he has the names of his future kids already laid out. You should have seen my face. I was like "What the fuck, lady?". I guess I could see it coming. The last hour or so might have been a bit much. Some ladies just can't handle all the love I've got inside me. You know what that's like, Mr. Sparkle, right?
And, to your credit, you never fucked it up and made yourself known, like you might have done in past. Yeah, I guess it's best not to think about those incidents. We should, I guess, be proud of ourselves for that. But, really Mad Marvin, it's pitiful. I don't have to tell you how long it's been. And yet I was so sure we were in with a chance tonight with that bird. She certainly wasn't acting like she had a boyfriend.
So, do you think maybe she was just making it up because she was frightened of how attracted to me she was? Chicks are prone to do that. They tell their girlfriends they might lie about a fake boyfriend to a prospective mate because they don't want to feel like sluts. But it's very possible she really does have a boyfriend, Tricky Dicky. That would explain how into me she was. Maybe that comment about her boyfriend just slipped out when she didn't want it to and I let it get me down. Shit. That could be it. After all, my macking was top notch tonight. I was cocky, funny, sexy, seductive and interesting. Her friends were lapping it up too. Maybe I shouldn't have paid so much attention to her alone. Yeah, that's it, you reckon my ol' Penal Colony?
In any case, tonight I fucked up and you were the one who had to pay for it. So, yeah, sorry dude. I'll try harder next time. No pun intended.
"
posted by Daniel @ 4:10 AM
19 comments
19 Comments:
you ever heard the song "dear penis"?
highly recommend it!
Ok, queued in Livewire.
excellent!!
Listened to it. Excellent. And you say you don't like country...
hey, i like funny country =0)
That's a hard one. I don't like to generalise.
When I meet Americans I feel like I'm in a movie. So much American culture has metastasised into us that hearing an American accent first hand can be strange haha.
But, yeah, I don't know. This is a big topic. I don't, like, want to burn you all or anything. We are just constantly aware of us.
I wrote 'us' instead of 'you'. I must be tired.
Woah, Natalia said 'rooting'. Buttah, would you like to explain to her what I explained to you?
Anyway, cheers.
rooting=fucking Natalia
cheers Hedge!
http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html
Constantly aware, as in a lot is done in reference to America. Television, music, film etc often ape American styles. Not to mention policy.
I'm not trying to be PC or anything. I don't know how to answer this, really.
On the one hand, in general, people think Americans are loud and annoying, but on the other hand we often lap up American culture over our own. The Australian Film Industry is all but dead at the moment.
But I can hardly speak to all of Australia. I like meeting people from other places. I think we're both irritated and in awe haha.
Oh, I see. You were asking for my personal opinion, not the general opinion. I don't know why I assumed that.
I think America should probably think a little about what it means to be a superpower. What it does has more of an impact worldwide than any other nation. Yet, a lot is done in domestic interests.
I think, therefore, that it is pretty irresponsible to, for example, not have mandatory voting.
America definitely has a cultural impact here. But, I don't think we're as in danger of becoming Americanised as some people think. There are still some very basic differences that shows Australian culture is still kicking.
like rooting =0)
Ed...yes you can, china. parents lived there for 2.5 years, and trust me....aside from designer goods, products are cheaper there
Nah, I wasn't really talking about Iraq. That's a whole other thing.
I meant more things like the FTA between Australia and the US, which has, for one, lowered the required local content on Australian TV. This means that instead of putting money back into Australia by having our own productions, it's cheaper - and therefore apparently better - to buy American TV shows.
Yeah, you may be right that 'foreigners' don't care about what is in US interests. But that probably comes from a general feeling that the US don't care about anything but US interests.
countries are like people
thus, no country really cares more about another country, than that initial country cares about itself.
how it works. i'd say more like kids than people lately, too
anyone else seriously scared of china?
or is that just me?
Well, Ok..but Murdoch just happens to be a guy who used to live here. I mean, he might be buying up the airwaves, but he's putting on American content. I'm talking culture, not money.
Australia shouldn't want to buy American shit just because it's cheaper. You don't shit where you eat.
I guess it's really a problem of priorities over here. You guys just want to get paid.
Anyway, bed.
night hedge *mwah*
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