I shit you not.
"He was a cricket fanatic; and, as it turns out, a terrorist fanatic"
- Christine Spiteri, Channel 9 News Melbourne, 6pm tonight
posted by Daniel @ 6:13 PM
72 comments
Hegder's 'Blog'
Oh, but I do.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
- Christine Spiteri, Channel 9 News Melbourne, 6pm tonight
About Me
- Name: Daniel
- Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
There's only one thing I hate more than liars: people who can't fly like I can.
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- Official Statement: Inane to Replace Subtle, True.
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- “Our Impotence in the face of Terrorism is still n...
72 Comments:
i always thought cricket was an outlet for terrorism.
glad i'm not the only one who now sees it!
Hey, it's a culture-uniting thing, and other cliches.
if by culture-uniting you mean plotting-to-end-western-civilization-one-blown-up-towel-head-at-a-time......you're right!
tee hee!
Damn Americanos, always trying to blowed stuff up real good and not understanding the jokes...haha. Sports are - can be, have been, maybe, maybe not - ways to jump language and culture boundaries. Through cricket some people in this country know where Pakistan is. Not me, though. I'm too busy looking at boobs.
now there's a real sport! boob hunting!
my personal favorite: sport fucking!
and you aussie's..taking everything we americano's say so seriously =P
Yeah, well you know how it is. You guys cough and our heads get covered in shit :P.
Sports fucking and boob hunting are indeed noble. Do you have any medals?
no, no medals. unfortunately i haven't had a good partner for the sport fucking..you know?
You sure it's not your fault? You seem like the 'project blame' type.
i'm offended!
no, wasn't me. if it was me, i would have worked to fix it. sadly upon telling the previous partner that it just wasn't doing the job for me...he just kind of shruged and said "i get mine..so hey...it can't be me"....
Really? Ha ha. That's hilarious. Is this Gregg with two Gs? Maybe the extra Gs is to make up for something else.
oh no! g squared..well, he's fine!
this is my ex boyfriend..he was a wanker.
Where'd you pick up 'wanker' from? Your vowels aren't flat enough for that to work, surely...Hmm.
Wait...you're not one of those ladies who doesn't know how to get off are you? In that case, that ex guy was right :P
anyone woman who says they don't masterbate is lying. that in mind, yes i know what works and what doesn't.
i picked up wanker (and bullocks, arse, shite, etc) when i lived in france and found solace from the fucking french in the aussie-brit pub at st. michele.
Well, blow me down.
You know that we use swear words differently, yeah? Arse and ass might be the same, but arsehole and asshole aren't. And I think your 'cunt' is different to ours. Haha collective cunt.
i picked up some of the slight variances in your swearing vocab :) but i lived in france when i was 13...so, you know...10 years later i'm kind of a tard :)
i know shag is a horrid word in britain...and a snog is a kiss?
Yeah, snog is British. So it shag, but it is used by some fuckos here. Thirteen and you were hanging in pubs in France and picking up swear words?
As for Australian swear words peculiar to us...it's more in the usage, frequency and intonation. But I was told off for saying 'dunny' when I was little.
"dunny"? what's that mean?!
hey...guiness makes a great lunch?
this just adds to my unyielding desire to go to australia, you realize, and that's not fair!
Dunny is an impolite term for a toilet, traditionally an outhouse. It's not used much, especially in polite society.
Want me to feed the fire of longing to come to this 'sunburnt country'? Let me see..."G;day, blokes and sheilas; today's special is Vegemite on toast. And no Fosters"
best line from "do you come from a land down under": "then he offered me a vegetimite sandwich"!
oh, and i don't sunburn so bring it on =0)
Of course, the guy who wrote that was actually Irish.
doesn't change the awesomeness of that line though. so snarf.
Snarf? Perhaps now would be the time to reveal that I have no i-fucking-dea what 'Bitch Pulled Out My Weave' could possibly mean.
a weave is something that black women, and i guess some white women, put in their hair to give the semblance of having thicker more luxurious hair.
funniest thing i ever saw at a bar were two black women fighting, and one grabbed the other's hair. that spawned "OH NO..that damn bitch pulled out my weave! she pulled out my mother fuckin weave"...and i nearly pissed myself i was laughing so hard
I see.
*a full ten minutes of silence*
I guess you had to be there :P
just think of the two ho-iest women from an american rapper video....
*blinks*
okay yea..you had to be there =0)
I think you redeemed yourself with the term 'ho-iest'. An Aussie word for such a person might be 'scrag'.
scrag is a ho?
*scribbles it down in her aussie to american dictionary*
Rough translation, but you might hear the following exchange occur:
"She's a fuckin' scrag, mate"
"Yeah? How come?"
"Fuckin' boned another bloke.."
"Duude..."
"I know, mate. Fuckin' scrag.."
dude. that's so hot!
Of course it is. Man, you probably get no Australian TV over there...haha.
none!
and now i must go to the land down under. see what you've done?!
Even I've been on Australian TV! Ha. Yeah, that's the reason you should come here..for the TV...
no..reason i should go is for strategic shark cage, surfing, and hot guy staring purposes.
duh!
Stereotype hunting: is it as fun as boob hunting?
no..not stereotype hunting
i can surf :) and i do want to go into a shark cage!
hot guys are just a perk =0)
and it's as fun as boob hunting, but nearly as fun as low hanging ball hunting!
You know that's weather-dependent, baby. If you suck on them, the temperature changes and no low-hanging to be considered. Of course, it's harder to suck on them when it's cold...
hey...it's late. shouldn't you be in bed?!
Hey, I'm on holidays and the night isn't done with me yet.
ooo holiday!
lucky bugger!
i just remember you saying you stay up way to late, my bad =0)
Look, I know you want me in bed but this is just impractical.
Chill, pill. Enjoy me while you can, isn't that what Jesus said?
i will further refrain from trying to bed you!
and i wouldn't know, i'm jewish. jesus is uhhh..nothing to me?
Hey, I didn't say stop. I'll just await your webcast show.
Some guy handed me this Jews for Jesus thing...does that make him double crazy?
naw, just makes him a christian. can't be jewish and think jesus was the son of god...cause, OH MAH GOODNESS! that makes you christian.
webcast? i have one.
I'm not even sure what a webcast is, but I'm told it makes seeing boobs easier.
I meant double crazy because he believes in two religions...which is just, well..I already said it.
it's nonesensical
no idea what a webcast is either...but i don't need more help showing my boobies
Well, that's always good to hear. And who said anything about YOUR boobies?
the world revolves around MY boobies..c'mon now!
i thought you knew...my chest is the epicenter of the UNIVERSE!
Ok, lady. I think it's time to lay off the shandy.
yea my bad
*puts away her bag of m$&m's*
You have a BAG of S&Ms? Gee, I know you like spanking but God...
M&m's
good lord man! im at work!
Yeah, but you're the only one there. A little alone-time is not off the cards.
when you have a point...you have a point
but i have to much clothing on. would be a hassle.
Nonsense. All you need is my picture and a free hand.
picture....check!
free hand......damnit...i'm in shackles.
Der! You're meant to be in shackles. Isn't this S&M masturbation? Only ONE free hand. Women...
but how do i work the jack hammer with just one hand?!
something has GOT to give!
Where are your skills, girlie? Fine, you'll just have to jump on a plane and I might - MIGHT - work the jackhammer for you. But you're paying your own taxi fare.
i got four hundred yen. i'm-a-coming..to uhh cum?
Ok, but don't wake me if I'm asleep when you get here. Just take a slice of the floor and keep your American loudness to a minimum.
oh hell no!
i'm going to jump right on top of you from the highest point in your room.
and yell.
obscenely loud.
That's it. Trip's off.
too late.
muhahahahaha *evil american laugh*
In that case, I'll just have to masturbate right now so that there's nothing left for you.
go for it!
thinking i just want you for your man juice...c'mon now!
i can get that anywhere!
Yeah, but you buy it bottled.
oh my god. how did you know?
I'm a man. We know all.
know all huh?
what am i wearing?!
haha!
I'm also a gentleman. And we never tell.
that warrants a: BULLOCKS!
fine. now get to bottling. i'm thirsty!
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