Fuck Fiction

"

The squat little man had made his selection quickly and left. He walked down the street, past the Noodle Bar; the Haircare Bar; the Coffee Bar and the Pub, which was actually a bar but was too cool to admit it. Having just left the Blocktastic-tainment store, his night was shaping up to be filled with DVD goodness.
Approaching the car park now, he shifted his hires so that they were held to his body with his elbow, and patted himself down to check for his keys, his wallet, his phone and his manhood. Something was missing. Not the manhood - that was still intact - but something, he felt, was amiss. He looked at his purchases for the night. Nothing suspicious there, except an unhealthy fascintation with Natasha McElhone. He must have left it in the video shop.

Inside the video store, a strange package had been left on the counter. Sheathed by a plastic bag, it was a square cardboard box. One employee mistook it for a pizza and removed it from its wrapping only to be let down when he discovered its true identity.
"Who left a Best of Johnny Cash record set here?" he said, feeling his stomach grumble its disappointment. His co-workers wore blank faces, but that was nothing new. They didn't know who left the vinyl collection in the store either.
"Maybe it was that guy in the trench coat" said a guy with a nametag that said Hector, but whose name was actually Dave. He didn't work there; he just liked nametags. He felt it gave him authority. Yeah, he was a moron, just like most of the regular customers at Blocktastic-tainment.
"Maybe" said Pizza Boy, still saddened at having deceived his stomach.
Suddenly, a squat little man ran in, sweaty and distressed. When he caught his breath he managed to spit out "I think I left something in here".
"Was it a Johnny Cash vinyl set?" said Pizza Boy.
"Yes!" said the squat man, emphatically.
The employee presented the records to the apparent owner. However, the squat man took one look at the box, said "Oh. No. This one isn't mine" and shuffled himself out of the store.
"What a strange person" said Dave, as he wiped a layer of dust from his nametag.

"