Governments Consider Abolition of Transport Systems

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After careful consideration of the dangers of modern terrorism, governments all over the world are considering dismantling their transportation systems and outlawing the usage of all automobiles, aeroplanes, trains, trams and buses.

“They’re just big trouble” said Rufus T. Firefly, President of Freedonia. “Think about it: recent terrorist attacks in Spain, the UK and the US relied on public transportation services like trains, buses and planes. Perhaps if we all became luddites and just, you know, walked around, maybe then we’d be safe”.

Although the President was optimistic, it is doubtful that ridding the modern world of transport technology would do much to counter terrorism, Vulgarian Ambassador Baron Vulgar said. “Terrorists are sneaky little buggers” the retired Colonel said. “Even if we did get rid of machines that move us around, they’d still find ways to carry out their evil deeds, possibly by way of magic.”

In this age of uncertainty, one thing is clear: transportation unions are going to be pretty fucking upset.

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