"God is telling me to eat this cheese sandwich"

"

I know it might not be very 'politically correct' and I'm sure the liberal media will be just waiting to bag me out but I'm telling you, God wants me to eat this cheese sandwich. He planted the idea inside my head like the benveolent being He is and guided my hands through every step of the process: defrosting the bread, cutting the cheese, buttering the slices; even when I nicked my hand with the knife. God must have been teaching me a lesson about responsibility or something. Ah, that God, that's such a 'Him' thing to do.

Anyway, now that the preparation is done, it is clear to me that God wants me to eat this cheese sandwich, almost like a sacrifice to His power and glory. Because, you know, it's not just the grand gestures that make one's life spiritual and holy. It's the everyday, the regular - yes, you might even say the mundane - that shows that God is truly within, without and between us at all times. He exists in the space between me and the delicious cheesy goodness of this sandwich, made from the simplest of materials - processed and refined carbohydrates and dairy products. When I close that gap between the sandwich and my mouth, it's like I'm kissing God right on his bearded face. And that's the most beautiful thing of all.

So, here's to you, oh mighty cheese sandwich maker in the sky. And here's to your love. Amen.

"