"If you promise not to stage a major terrorist attack, I'll give you some of this chocolate"

"
Ok, so...I know your friends are up to something. No, no, don't deny it. I don't really want to know. I mean, I realise you're disaffected with your station in life, especially since everyone assumes you're a terrorist and now your mechanics business will probably go down the gurgler. But, here's the thing: I have some chocolate, right here. And, you know, this chocolate is pretty fricken awesome. I mean, it's so good that I can't just give it all to you: I got it from that place down the road that's only open like, one day a week because the rest of the time they are perfecting the batches they make.

So, here's what I'm proposing: if you promise me that you and your mates aren't planning some kind of major terrorist attack, I'll give you some of this chocolate.

That's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. After all, it's not like you have to acknowledge what I've said by giving away any secret information or anything. All you have to do is maybe nod a little bit and take some of this sweet dairy-milk chocolate from me. That will be the social contract between us. And if there's no major terrorist attack, then I'll know you kept up your end of the bargain. But if there is, oh boy, you're gonna be in big trouble.

I say this with the confidence that you're not the suicide-bomber type. I figure you're more of a low-level employee in the foot-clan terror association. I mean, you just bought a PSP: hardly the sort of investment one makes if an imminent suicide attack is about to be staged. Am I right or am I right? I also say with complete confidence that this chocolate is so good that it will make you rethink any plans you and your jihad-buddies might be thinking about. Seriously.

So, there's my proposition. I know it's not much, but this is all I really have the power to offer you, my accused friend. Had I the power I'm sure that I'd do all I could to dissaude you from whatever course of action you might be thinking about taking. Anyway, my cards are on the table. The chocolate is melting a blob in my pocket, so you might want to make up your mind. But, whatever. I'll pick up my car tomorrow.
"