Suggestions for New Punishments

- Sitting down with drug mules and forcing them to use all 150 kilos of heroin they've smuggled, just to show them how wrong it is.

- Virtual Execution, where 'death' row inmates can no longer live in the real world. They have to live in a simulacrum of 'life', like the Matrix .

- Curfews for people under the age of 20. Because, you know how adolescents are known for obeying their elders.

- Consider the sociological context of the crime committed and punish each member of society equally. Possibly with mandatory viewing of Merrick and Rosso's various television work.

- Put rioters on a deserted island together with only one bandana between them.

- Forcing sex offenders to hug their victims. Not too hard though.

- Imprisonment for talking back to a teacher in high school. That will teach them to respect authority figures.

- Offenders are sent back in time to 19th century London and are forced to live with Bill Sykes, Fagin and the Artful Dodger.

- Choice between gaol, the armed services or Big Brother.

- Public spankings. Tissues will be handed out if anyone gets too excited.

- A formal 'Corner' that offenders have to sit in for, like, almost all of lunchtime.

- Forced musket duels between offenders. The winner gets a reduced prison sentence.

- 60 Minutes interviews and $40,000 pay-outs.

- Sending offenders directly to hell, because they are evil.

- Mandatory Sentencing and zero-tolerance policing. (Just kidding. We don't want to get crazy).