Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera debate the pros, cons of evolutionary psychology.

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The academic world was all ears this morning when two heavyweights of the pop world weighed in on a matter very close to their hearts: the misapplication of evolutionary psychology to further dubious ideological ends at the hands of organizations of questionable ethical grounding. United on the issue Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera reopened the debate today at a press conference in promotion of their new split EP ‘Ev Psych in the Hizz-oUS.’
‘Like, yeah,’ stated Spears. ‘Just consider the implications the misuse of evolutionary psychological research. Aside from the frightening prospect of providing a scientific basis for bigoted eugenic theories, the biological reductionist approach to the matter unnecessarily ignores the social and cultural forces on the ‘super plasticity’ of the human mind.’
‘Though we must also consider the benefits such research might yield’ Aguilera mused, as a member of her entourage attached a green belly ring to her navel. ‘A better understanding of how the most important organ of the human body – the brain – evolved would provide a formidable weapon in the fight against genetic disorders and enable therapeutic techniques to improve to benefit those spastic kids.’
The evolutionary psychology debate is one often left behind by Spears’ and Aguilera’s pop contemporaries. One example is Jessica Simpson, who this year decided to forgo her previous forays into this controversial subject to focus instead on the more accepted academic area regarding the long term international policy impacts of misleading Western depictions of ‘local’ cultures in the Polynesian islands.
‘She (Simpson) is so sucking up to the fans’ Aguilera snidely remarked. ‘She is no artist. Just look at her half baked deconstruction of the travel industry’s pandering to white middle class family unit at the expense of accurate representations of the communities inhabiting Micronesian rural areas. Hello? Do I smell brown nosing? The fans eat that shit up, ho.’
The press conference was closed early so that Spears and Aguilera could make a trip to the solarium and ‘catch up on some Pinker’. Both stars plan to release concept albums - heavily influenced by the literature of evolutionary psychology - later this year.
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