So, I got tagged.

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So, I got tagged by MeasleBump. So, here's the most happening thing in the blogosphere right now:

List 8 attributes of the perfect partner.

1. Must be female. I really can't stress this enough. My God, if only there was some way to make people understand that I don't want to have them sleep with my bottom. This is key. Take note, my loyal readers.

2. Must be breathing. Seriously, think about this for a minute. How annoying - not to mention gross - would it be to have a partner that wasn't always, in some sense, alive? Not to offend any of you necrophiles out there but..eww. So, yeah, this is pretty important to me in seeking out a partner, ideal or otherwise.

3. Should have the resources to get me home when I'm passed out in some bar. While not as important as the above two, this still ranks pretty high in my list. I mean, I'm a pretty heavy drinker and I can't really hold my piss, so a chick with a car is really what I'd be looking for. Which reminds me...

4. Must be OK with me refering to her as 'chick', 'hey you, over there' and 'current fuck'. It's not that I'm always vulgar, it's just that..you know, my ideal chick would have to be tolerant of a lot of things that some current fucks haven't been comfortable with.

5. She shouldn't be a member of al-Qaeda. Actually, this should probably extend to Hamas, the PLO, the IRA...pretty much any international terrorist organization. Sorry, it's not that I'm anti-violence so much as anti-women having a strong opinion. Unless, you know, their opinion consists of making me do the white wee wee. Booya.

6. No fat chicks. Obviously.

7. Must be able to play Dungeons and Dragons at a semi-professional level,. This is just standard. Since it's not likely she'll be a good conversationalist (right, guys? LOL), I think good D&D sessions can really bring a couple together. Or so I've heard anyway, from my mate Nigel who reckons he and his ex almost didn't break up because of the D&D.

8. Uh, can you lend me 20 bucks?


Well, I've done my part. Now, ladies, it's your turn. I await with baited breath.

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